The Hammer- Coffee Addiction is Serious and Real

Caffeine: the most hardcore drug besides cocaine, and coincidentally, has similar effects of cocaine.  I’m actually a recovering coffee addict and here’s my story. I formerly drank two large iced black coffees every single morning. If I didn’t get my daily fix, I’d get itchy, baggy eyed, tired, and feel a lack of motivation. I…

O – Messin with Bison 

So yesterday some very caring nice people were driving around yellow stone national park when they came across a bison calf that apparently looked cold. I’ll have you know I have been to Yellowstone before and yeah it’s cold but there are also hundreds of bison roaming around and they have lots of fur. Being…

The Hammer- Why Women Are Lucky to Fix Ugliness With Makeup 

I’m just getting home from my Prom night, seeing girls dressed up and doused in makeup. I couldn’t help but think to myself like WTF. Why does that girl look pretty tonight when she’s usually ugly as asbestos. Then it dawned on me: makeup. It’s the makeup that’s making these girls look baddddddd (bad in…

The Dean – How to Pick the Perfect College

Alright so clearly picking a college is one of the most important decisions you’re going to make in your life. Because I’m The Dean, I’m going to make this the easiest decision you’ve ever made. I’m gonna give you a bunch of different factors for Universities and give them a score of 1-10 based on how important they…

The Hammer- Why Prom Sucks and Why the Tradition Should be Aborted

Let’s be real. Prom sucks duck chode. The pictures, the food, the DJ, the after party, and sometimes even your date sucks. Bad. Not good. You even have to drop AT LEAST a two weeks salary on the whole event in total. Now it’s common courtesy to spend at least three months salary on your spouse’s…