The Dean – Wait, is there a Cure to Cancer?


So in order to graduate I need to complete some community service so I decided to help some friends out with a car wash. My simple job was to hold a sign saying come get your car washed to help the American Cancer Society.

Seemed simple enough until a giant black truck drives past me, pulls over, and then puts the car in reverse to try to get to where I was and talk to me. She rolls her window down and tells me “You know the organization you’re raising money for is a fraud”. So at this point I had two different options, tell this lady to screw off or stay there and see where this was going to head. Being the content man that I am for this blog I decided to play along.

So I go “right right, and what makes you believe that?” She then tells me  “The reason the American Cancer Society exists is because they just want to make money” Now I’m starting to get offended, who the fuck is this lady to tell a student that the American Cancer Society is a fraud when she has probably never been affected by cancer or anything. I keep going and tell her “Okay so if you think that there is a cure what is it?”

“Tell any cancer patient you know to drink dandelion seeds and there cancer will be gone” She goes “now go educate all of your friends” and drives away. With one of the greatest mic drops of all time I look around in absolute disbelief.

Half of me just wanted to believe that this lady was just a crazy republican that thought that the Government was out to get us and attack us all with cancer while they just sit around laughing with the dandelion seeds in their pockets. But, the other half of me was like what if this psycho is right? Should I be walking around with dandelion seeds with me at all time? Don’t be surprised if the rate of cancer dramatically decreases thanks to this blog, but in the mean time lets find an actual cure to cancer.



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