The Hammer- Pablo Panda Fails on Field But Finds Purpose in Offering Hope and Inspiration to Obese Teens Everywhere

With spring sports on the verge of starting in the upcoming weeks, many athletes may feel out of shape and ill prepared to enter their upcoming sports season. While most people are able to get whipped back into shape from the first few weeks of conditioning in practice, many still feel uneasiness going into their season because they aren’t where they should be. Lincoln High School (RI) Junior Delaney Cavanaugh plays high school sports year round yet always feels out of shape going into the season, saying “I always feel a step behind everybody else and regret not training harder to get ready for the season.” If you are like Delaney and feeling wary about how ready you are for your sport, then look at it this way: it could be way worse, you could be Pablo Sandoval!

With the nickname of the “Kung-Fu Panda”, Pablo is best known for high enormous size and frame (he’s also known for being the third basemen on the Boston Red Sox). If you don’t know what Pablo Sandoval looks like, then you can see a picture of him at the bottom of the page. The stat sheets list him at 240 pounds, but you and I both know that John Farrell had a hand in shaving off AT LEAST one hundred pounds from that statistic. Let’s just call it how we see it: Pablo Sandoval is one huge ass panda bear on the prowl for his next meal at all times. But sometimes in between meals, he plays some baseball here and there. As a Yankees fan myself, it hurts me to admit that he plays GOOD baseball at that. Seven years in with a career .288 batting average, Pablo has put together quite the career for himself between playing in San Francisco and Boston, all while being pretty obese.

As of late, Pablo has received a lot of flack for coming into this year’s spring training looking like a fat shit. However, Pablo took this criticism, went into practice, and hit a homerun with his first swing off of star pitcher David Price, saying ‘I can do what I want and I’ll eat what I want while I do it!’

So what lesson is there to take from Pablo? Well, more than meets the eye actually. It is okay that you are going into your sports season feeling unhealthy, because you will surely be back into shape soon enough. Isn’t that what the first few weeks of practice are for anyways before games start? As out of shape as you may be, I highly doubt that you’ll look like Shammoo, as Pablo does. And even if you did, you’d probably turn out just fine like he is. Dude’s getting paid millions for breaking his belt mid swing and being on the road to diabetes. You’re an athlete for a reason and all will be well. Just take a deep breath, look forward to your upcoming season, and just do it! (You’re welcome Nike) (Get ready for Nike plugs)


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